Monday, May 25, 2009

Wrapping It All Up

Well ladies and gentlemen, this is officially my last required post for The Sandbox. This doesn't necessarily mean the end of The Sandbox, because I'm really starting to enjoy this whole blogging thing and would like to continue with it. You can think of this post as my last album with a certain record company, and now I am a free agent. I can post whenever I want, no word counts, posts per week, etc. I can write about whatever I want now, doesn't have to be "school appropriate" or whatever, a term that really has no definition yet somehow exists and is repeated daily by d-bag school administrators and superintendents who I will call d-bags only for the sake of anonymity. Their real names are actually quite more vulgar and offensive than the term d-bag anyway.

Anyway, all BS aside, like I was saying about the free agent analogy thing, I still plan on keeping this blog active. The only thing that's bugging me though, is I really want to know if I'm getting any traffic on this blog at all. I don't want to be writing just for myself, now that I'm not writing it for a teacher. I'm probably going to install a hit counter so I can see if anyone is ever strolling through my sandbox here. If I think that people want more, I will keep writing. I have a lot to say, and I'm eager to say it, so long as someone actually hears it.

Blogging itself has been an enjoyable experience this year, I'd never blogged before, nor even done anything like it. Never kept a journal, never done any sort of periodic writing like this. Of course at first it was hard to maintain the requirements, but eventually I was realizing that all my posts were generally 100-200 words above the necessary word count. In my drafts section, I have COUNTLESS posts that I've started but just haven't gotten around to finishing yet, I have enough material to keep this blog up for months and years to come if I really wanted to. I might move to another site, I'm not too crazy about blogger, or the way things work on this site, but I'll keep the same name and everything. I've enjoyed reading other people's blogs too, but it was mainly writing what was on my mind that kept me blogging throughout this year.

Anyways, this isn't the end don't worry! Just reheat the hookah and stop by again sometime, who knows what might be going on over here.

Monday, May 18, 2009

Top Five Sodas

This post is about the top five sodas ever to grace the planet.


5) Mountain Dew Livewire: A hearty mix of only one of the greatest sodas ever made (Mountain Dew) and the zesty tang of a delicious orange, this pop is a must have in any serious soda-drinker's fridge. I recommend in 2 liter format, because that's where one can savor the flavors of the orange mixed with the Dew the best, especially if you serve it in a glass.


4) Vanilla Pepsi: Better than Vanilla Coke, and great with food. A very rare treat, if you ever see Vanilla Pepsi, go for it, no matter what other options you may have. Good in cans, glass, plastic bottles, whatever, doesn't even need to be that cold. Warm Vanilla Pepsi is actually a delicacy for those of us who are cultured enough to realize and appreciate its true taste.


3) Mirinda Green Apple: I don't think this pop is sold in the United States, what a shame. Miranda is basically Egypt's version of Fanta, a shitty coke brand. Imagine the taste of Green Apple Jolly Ranchers, now mix that with a sprite or something, leave the promethazine out lol. Anyway, its very, very delicious, and leaves a nice apple taste in your mouth for a while.


2) Mountain Dew: Ah, Mountain Dew. The King of all things with High Fructose Corn Syrup. A gamer's fuel, the very liquid running in my veins. Mountain Dew is broken down as follows:
10% label ingredients
50% Water
45% HFCS
5% Heavenly ingredients.
As you can see, Mountain Dew is clearly superior to your favorite soda, and even you. Mountain Dew can be consumed in any way possible, so long as its just consumed. In bottles, glasses, poured over your food, in cans, licked off the table, snorted with a straw, whatever. I've even heard stories of people freezing a cup of Dew and putting a stick in it to make a Mountain Dew Popsicle. That's beast. If you don't have Mountain Dew in your fridge right now, I don't know what to tell you.


1) Fairuz Pineapple: If you haven't ever heard of Fairuz (fey-rooz) Pineapple, its okay, there may still be hope for you. I'm assuming you've never heard of it because you live in America, and never been to Egypt, typical of people who don't have a refined taste in soda. Fairuz itself is a malt beverage, similar to many beers (minus the alcohol of course) and is found in many different flavors including but not limited to: pineapple, grape, apple, orange, mango, and peach. Fairuz was the preferred drink of the biggest badass to ever live, Sir Muharram of Alexandria, great grandfather of the strongest man who ever lived. Its been proven to refresh even the most tired gamer, cure infectious diseases, provide immunity against the rabies-infested dogs in Egypt, and just all around kick ass. Its typical for your average Alexandrian to consume roughly 6 cans of Fairuz a day.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

9/10 Video games are terrible, and so are the people who play them

After my post about how much professional sports games suck, it came to my attention that the vast majority of video games are terrible.

Here's a list of terrible video games and the people who play them:

1) Madden games. These games are terrible. Its the epitome of today's gag inducing obsession with professional sports. I don't even consider Madden players real gamers. I wonder what goes through their minds sometimes while they're playing.

2) NASCAR games. Racing games in general are terrible, except for a few exceptions. Again, racing games fall under the category of the same game every single year, yet a different skin over the cars and the maps. Nothing new. I have more fun running around a track then playing Need for Speed, and I'd rather be water boarded for twenty four continuous hours than run recreationally. The people who play these games are generally the type of people who will race down to the cafeteria during lunch as soon as they can, proving my hypothesis that they're all sheep.

3) Guitar Hero/Rockband. What is it with these games anyway? Every time I go to a store like Bestbuy or whatever, I see unemployed, "band members" standing in front of the TV jumping around waiting for their turn to do whatever it is people who play this game do. You see, I've never played either of these games. To me, they are a really cheap ripoff of the one and only Dance Dance Revolution, a game which really took skill. I hate people who think they're a rock star playing these games. I see them all the time, they get so into it, it pisses me off. No, you aren't in a band, you're either in high school and never will be in a band, or you're unemployed thinking you'll make it big someday.

4) MMORPG games. MMO games (Massively Multiplayer online role playing games) are games in which a player can create a "character" and assume their role in a massive, real time environment with millions of other people simultaneously. Examples include: Runescape, Star Wars Galaxies, Everquest, and most notorious of all, World of Warcraft. In order to "get better" at these games, one must level their character up. A process which can take anywhere from months, to YEARS.
God, I don't even know where to begin. I'll start with this, I personally know several MMO players who also happen to lead normal, constructive, otherwise unaffected lives. BUT, the other 90+% of MMO players are a completely different story. The negative stereotype that plagues gamers was undoubtedly aimed at MMO gamers. because of the sheer nature of the game, you will be forced to play this game for a very long time, in prolonged periods. In fact, there are stories of people who have admitted to playing World of Warcraft for SIXTY HOURS A WEEK. That's more than eight hours a day, or a full time job. Naturally, parameters like hygiene, weight stability, and overall health are spat on when one plays a game for this long. Again, MMOs are played by millions of people around the globe, there are exceptions to what I've just explained, but I have seen groups of people waiting outside Wall Mart for nearly an entire day, just so they can get their hands on the new expansion or whatever. I have friends who will LOCK themselves into their houses every now and then so they can binge- game. It's a disease, and its infectious too, I almost started playing these games, but I pulled myself away at the last second.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Shout out to Muharram Bey

If you find yourself asking, "what the hell is Muharram Bey" its okay, that's what this blog is for. You see, I come from Alexandria, Egypt. And specifically from the district called Muharram Bey (much like New York's Harlem or LA's Beverly Hills or w/e). Muharram Bey literally means "Sir Muharram," Muharram (Mu-har-um) himself was an early leader of the city of Alexandria, way, way, way back in the day. He was a beast from what I hear though. He was ruling Alexandria during the 1920s, back when it was still a really nice, clean place. A lot has changed since, but my small district still remains today to honor his name.

I'm writing this post because I feel like I haven't at all addressed my heritage in this blog, and I just quickly wanted to touch on it. This place is awesome, and not just because I was born and raised there. If anything, being born and raised there is what made me so awesome LOL. Anyway, all BS aside, if any of you ever get a chance to leave the United States, consider coming to Alexandria. But NEVER, consider coming to Muharram Bey. Because you will get owned. They don't like tourists. They don't even like other Egyptians, or other Alexandrians for that matter.

In fact, now that I think about it, these people have beef with everyone. Look at them funny and you might have a razor blade making confetti with your face, true story, freak accidents like this happen ALL THE TIME. Let me tell you guys something else. Alexandrians are really, really superstitious people. Its not uncommon to have a missing family member in each household because they were the victim of some "ghost uprising one night." To add to the mix, Muharram Bey is as old as hell. There are buildings there that are only standing because God hasn't willed them to fall yet, I mean this place is FREAKISHLY old. And at night, its so fricking scary I've peed my pants running home at night once when I was really little. Anyway, so this mix of grotesquely old and haunted seeming buildings and the superstitious nature of Alexandrians, multiplies the whole creepiness factor by over 9000.

Another thing, this place is not for the faint hearted. The Middle East as a whole is considered to be a pretty dirty place by most American peoples' standards who have actually been there before. Well guess what, Muharram Bey is like the SLUM of the Middle East. Just last year, when I was over there for the summer, someone tried flushing slaughtered lamb remains down the toilet, and the ENTIRE PLUMBING SYSTEM OF THE BLOCK FAILED. All the roads were covered in fast moving streams of sewage water for weeks. Which in turn caused people, for reasons I'll never understand, to invite themselves to throw all their garbage on the sidewalks, making it damn near impossible to even think about leaving your house. I was sitting on my stoop with my friends one day, when this insanely fast moving van pancaked the shit out of little kitten that was licking itself peacefully in the middle of the road. It remained there for the better part of a month. The smell got so bad, and the carcass was covered in flies to the point where the only way to get rid of it was to drive over it again, until there would be nothing there to rot.

Now, you might be thinking, wow, this place really sucks man. In a way it does. Yes it sucks when the electricity will go out at random times throughout the day for no reason, yes it sucks that we don't get running water except for a short, two hour period during the day, hell yeah it sucks that most of the dogs there have rabies and are about as big as the average sizes lion and can tear a fully grown man into shreds. But, its still my home, and I still love going back there. I love sitting at the coffee shops until the wee hours of the morning with my long- time friends. I love the fact that everything in Muharram Bey is so ridiculously cheap; I can buy around ten pop cans a day and not feel a dent in my pocket. Most of all, I love Muharram Bey because that's where my family and friends all are, and I can always go back there and be welcomed.


My street in Muharram Bey.

Sunday, May 10, 2009

A Closer Look at Eminem's Lyricism

As anyone who is a fan of Eminem can attest, this guy's lyrical ability is insane. From his freestyles to his diss songs to whatever it may be, you can count on his lyrics to blow you out of the water. Pair them up with some of Dr. Dre's powerful beats, and you have yourself a classic. I've taken the liberty of amassing some of Slim Shady's greatest collection of lyrics, from his earliest days up until the upcoming release of his latest album, Relapse.

Here's a short list of various verses from Eminem which speak for themselves on how much skill he has as a rapper/lyricist.

I'm the one man on the planet that'll drive off of the Grand Canyon
Hop out of my Grand AM and land handstandin'
Any man planning to battle me will get snatched out of his clothes so fast
it'll look like an invisible man standin'
I'm headed for hell
I'd rather be dead or in jail
Bill Clinton, hit this, and you better inhale
Because any MC choosing to go against me is gettin taken advantage of, like Monica Lewinsky
I came home in a frenzy, pushing my ten speed
screaming to my aunt Peg, with three spokes sticking out of my pant leg
F*ck a headache, gimme a migraine,
damnit I like pain, and you should be anywhere that a mic ain't
You rap knowin you whack
You act up and I'm throwing you down a flight of steps
Then I'm throwing back up em'
If they dont like this track, f*ck em'
The rap struck em harder than getting hit by a Mack truck and then backed up on


DAMN. That is all I have to say about that. That was a FREESTYLE. As in, off the top of his head. That's crazy.

Here's another one, this was a diss song called Till I Collapse, where he was replying to the rapper Ja Rule's insults toward his own daughter. He went crazy here.

Soon as a verse starts I eat it at MC's heart
what is he thinking? I'ma not to go against me, smart.
And its absurd how people hang on every word.
I'll probably never get the props I feel I ever deserve
But I'll never be served my spot is forever reserved
If I ever leave earth that would be the death of me first.
Cause in my heart of hearts I know nothing could ever be worse.
That's why I'm clever when I put together every verse
My thoughts are sporadic, I act like I'm an addict
I rap like I'm addicted to smack like I'm Kim Mathers.
But I don't want to go forth and back in constant battles
The fact is I would rather sit back and bump some rappers.
So this is like a full blown attack I'm launching at them
The track is on some battling raps who want some static
Cause I don't really think that the fact that I'm Slim matters
A plaque of platinum status is whack if I'm not the baddest.


Look at this guy's diversity, he can go from hilarious anecdotes about how he chased his highschool teacher around the class with a stapler, to these serious tracks which assassinate rappers. There's a lot more, I just can't think of any right now.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

The World Will Relapse on May 19th

With Eminem's LOOOOOOOOOONG awaited fifth album release Relapse due in just a couple of weeks, a lot of buzz and controversy has been going on in the rap world. For starters, each one of his singles so far has spurred a lot of hate from the media towards himself, the genre, its fans, everything. But, what the hell else could be expected when you're talking about SLIM SHADY??? Its been a long time since we've heard anything new by Eminem, sure there was the occasional underground remix or featured single or whatever, but for the most part, Eminem fans like myself have been forced to listen to his while classic, but outdated older albums. I'm not complaining, songs like "Lose Yourself," "My Name Is," etc, will NEVER get old.

The title of his album is actually talking about Eminem himself, who during this mysterious disappearance from the public for several years, he was coping with an addiction to prescription pills. Recently, he has begun talking a lot about this addiction he had, and the troubles it brought. He claims the main reason he started using these pills in the first place was because he was trying to deal with the murder of a very dear friend of his Proof, a late member of the rap group D12. He then couldn't pull himself out of this cocktail of Vicodin, and other pills which would make him high. Pictures of him gaining serious weight started appearing on the Internet, which he claims were also a result of his habits. Addiction to drugs runs in his family he claims. He said he was finally able to now understand his mother, a person whom he'd been feuding with publicly for the better part of his career. It wasn't until his doctor told him that he was going to die if he kept this up, that he stopped.

In a recent interview with XXl magazine, Eminem told the world his story over the past five or so years, and how he is trying to get out of it. He said he hadn't recorded a song while being sober in as long as he could remember, until now. Rap wasn't cutting it for him anymore, he said it used to make him high, but it was no longer doing that, so he resorted to taking pills instead. Now though, he is back in the rap game strong as ever, and Relapse is just around the corner. But, some people think Relapse is a little too late. They say the days Eminem's controversy are long over, something which I disagree with. Sure yeah, the world was getting by without Eminem, but when he gets back, people will realize that rap was really hurting and they're glad to have him back.


Relapse's cover art, unique, not unlike what we're used to with Eminem.

Relapse Singles So Far

In the time awaiting Eminem's new album, he has released a bit of sample material, as is common amongst rappers these days. The four singles that have hit the streets so far, "Crack a Bottle", "We Made You", "3 AM", and "Old Time's Sake", have their equal share of avid fans eager to get more of the Eminem they thought went away, and people who weren't too crazy about any of them. This is only expected, seeing as back in the days of the Eminem Show, the man was under so much scrutiny and hatred from the public on the subject matter of his rap, something which I'll never understand because A) if this music bothered people so much, why did they listen to it, and B) music relating to the subject material that Eminem rapped about is STILL prevalent today, even in genres other than rap, yet this goes oddly unnoticed.

Crack a Bottle for instance, is looked down upon by a lot of disgruntled mothers upset with his crude lyrics and suggestive themes. Guess what, Slim Shady is back 100%. Have you for a second forgotten who exactly is Slim Shady? The guy who bore the responsibility of corrupting many a young boy's mind after listening to songs like "Superman" and "Guilty Conscience"? Yes, that guy.

His next single "We Made You" is also stirring up quite a bit of controversy lately. In this song, Eminem bashes lots and lots of celebrities, including but not limited to: Jessica Simpson, and Sarah Palin. Naturally, what he said about the latter upset many people who align themselves with Bill O'Reily and his politics. The guy openly came about and expressed his displeasure with Eminem's song, which he feels went too far.

Next, Eminem released the song "3 AM," a horrific tale of a man coping with an addiction to pills who goes on unnaturally violent and grotesque killing sprees while under the influence. Personally, I think this song is easily the best he's had so far on his album. He raps with a really deranged seeming accent, something which many listeners aren't too crazy about. I feel like this actually adds to what the song is supposed to feel like, which is a crazy horror story-type situation.

His last single released so far, "Old Time's Sake" was just released like a day or two ago, so I doubt many people have heard it and have made their own opinions on it, but I like it. The beat is nice, and it feature's Dr. Dre, a long time companion and mentor of Eminem.

The only thing we can be sure about from all of this material, is that the best is yet to come. May 19th can't get here soon enough so we can finally stop holding our collective breaths waiting for this infamous album to land.